Empty Bed

by K.A.S.

Big Family

Circa March 8th, 2010

It’s another night in the midst of many that I go to bed alone.

It’s something I’ve gotten used to being married to a screenwriter. That blessed Muse visits at the weirdest hours.

When we were first married, his desk was in the master bedroom. Horrible idea. Don’t ever do it. Put the office in the living or dining room if you have a 1 bedroom apartment. (I know, the perfectionist in me cringed then and that’s why I’m saying this now. It’s a 20/20 thing.) Save the bedroom for what it was intended for. What should have been a dark, peaceful room, my hyber-nating cave for 8 hours, was a place the glaring computer screen and the clickety-clack of 70wpm came alive.

But it’s different now. Then I wasn’t alone. At least he was still in the bedroom.

Now, he has an office off our garage. Thank God above because I thought I was going to go crazy with all the paper piles in the bedroom. But this means that the house feels lonely with out him. The bed is always cold. His warm body never near to help chase the chill of So Cal winters. (I know…it’s not that bad. But my blood has thinned from the New England winters I grew up with.) I snuggle up with a pillow until he arrives at some hour of the night I haven’t been able to stay up until since I was 17.

There are times I feel saddened. My husband works so hard to provide for us. He writes, has meetings, connects during the day and does more of the same at night. Burning the candle on both ends. The town is tough and it takes a lot of determination and passion to see it through till the end. Not many make it.

However, there are some advantages that I think I should be mentioned. I get a whole queen size bed to myself! I can stretch out as much as I’d like without having to be polite about the line down the middle of bed. I can go to sleep the way I want to, which means not a smidgen of light can be seen from any crevice or window. The down blanket is all mine including all four pillows that lay on our bed and the light can stay on for as long or as little as I like without feeling guilty.

I’m thankful we have been able to live off of his writing for 5 years, with two kids! Even if it means the bed is sometimes empty when I reach it.

Good night!

*Our bed isn’t so empty in the picture posted. It was taken by the creative Aaron Tamayo over at http://www.aarontamayo.com in October 2010. One month after Miss H joined the brood.*